Witches Brew

Witches Brew

    As part of updating their adventures, Riley lets anyone following strangerthanfiction.com know about the upcoming visit with Oprah and Larry King. 

    After doing that, Riley dozes off sitting up, and Angel Michael shows up and says, "Don't you and Willa Sue think it's time for you two to move back to Birmingham?" Then Judge Allgood, the federal judge, for whom Riley clerked after he graduated from the University of Alabama School of Law, appears and says, 'I'm thinking about getting into politics."

    Riley wakes up, groans. Behind the scenes, Judge Allgood ran Alabama's Democratic Party. Except for George Wallace, anyone who wanted to run on the democratic ticket for state office in Alabama, or for US Senate or House of Representatives, sought Judge Allgood's blessing.

    Riley tells Willa Sue about his dream. 

    She groans, says, "Can we file an appeal?"

    Riley rolls his eyes.

    Willa Sue burps.

    Riley calls their apartment manager and lets her know they are giving notice and will pay the 2-months-rent penalty in their lease. She asks him to put that into an email. He says, okay, and he sends her the email. She emails back an acknowledgement, and her best wishes - "You've got me and my boyfriend's vote, and all of our friends' votes. 

    Riley groans, shows the email to Willa Sue, who groans.

    Not fun kind of groaning. Groaning over being fucked blind is good groaning. Neither Riley nor Willa Sue feel like doing that kind of groaning right now.

    Riley's laptop dings, a new comment in moderation at strangerthanfiction.com.

Out To Pasture, in Birmingham

Headed toward 81, I've had many experiences with angels, they had no wings, but they flew, instantly, there to here, here to elsewhere, the speed of light had nothing to do with them. They taught me many things, starting with they were very real, they worked for what I was raised to call God, and they were going to try to use me, and, first, they wanted me to know myself better, and many mirrors did I get to stand in front of, looking at me. They taught me what matters is how I live this life, for that's why I'm here, and they stayed with me, steering me sometimes, correcting me sometimes, rebuking me sometimes, carrying me sometimes, sometimes dragging me out of hells I had fallen into, and encouraging me to be who I am, authentic, true, caring, and giving it my best shot every time. The angels did not school me on dying, other than dying is what many people do their entire lives, because they did not live who they truly are. You have my deepest condolences :-), and my hope that you two hang in there. Let me know when you get to Birmingham to look for a place to live. outtopasture@hotmail.com.

    Riley shows that to Willa Sue, who gasps, chokes, gasps, burps, rolls her eyes, says, "We're fucked."

    Riley smiles wanly, replies to Out To Pasture:

Now maybe Willa Sue and I know what General George Custer felt like when he realized he was surrounded by more Indians than he had ever dreamed existed. Less than an hour ago, Angel Michael asked me in a nap dream if it wasn't time for Willa Sue and me to move back to Birmingham? I expect we will head that way later today or tomorrow, to look for an apartment. I will email you when we get there.

 

    Riley removes Out To Pasture's email address and clears their comments from moderation.

    Riley gives their houseplants a good soaking, while Willa Sue checks the refrigerator for anything that needs to be tossed out. They pack for ten days and head to the Highlander.  

    I-10 is really boring, but it's the quickest route to Tallahassee, past which is Mariana, where they can take a backroad up to US 231 Dothan, and then to Montgomery, and up I-65 to Birmingham, which they reach about 9 p.m. and check into the Hampton Inn on US 280 between Mountain Brook and Homewood.

    They go to their room and fall facedown on the king bed and pass out.

    Biker Chick comes to Willa Sue in a dream, says, "Tell Riley the witches are brewing their potions." 

    Michael comes to Riley in a dream, says, "Send Out To Pasture an email in the morning with your cell phone number."

    Riley does that on waking around 7 a.m. 

    Out To Pasture replies right away:

Tell me where are you staying, and I'll be there shortly.    

    Riley emails back:

Hampton Inn, Mt. Brook, room 213.

    Fifteen minutes later, there is a knock on their door. Riley walks to the door, opens it, sees an older man, maybe 85, thin, grey hair, balding. 

    His eyes twinkle.

    He smiles, says, "I'm Merlin."

    "For real?", Riley asks.

    "Yes, for our purposes."

    "And what are our purposes?"

    Merlin reaches into his pocket, pulls out something, says, "First, you need a place to live, here are two sets of keys to an apartment I rented for you and prepaid the rent for six months. Unit G-1, Park Lane Apartments in Mt. Brook. If you need more time than that, I will take care of the rent. The landlord owes me a favor."

    "What kind of favor," Willa Sue asks.

    "I made the minister of her church an offer he could not refuse."

    "Please say more."

    "I told him that if he did not resign and leave that church and never come back, or have anything further to do with that church, I would turn him into a toad, I then turned him into a toad, and then I turned him back into a man, so he would know I was serious."

    "You turned him into a toad for real?"

    "He thought so. Actually, I hypnotized him and convinced him he was a toad and had him hop around on the floor of his office in the church, and then I told him he would remember everything as if it really happened, and then I woke him up and made him the offer he couldn't refuse."

    "That's fucking hilarious!"

    Merlin smiles, nods.

    Riley says, "First do no harm?"

    Merlin says, "In that case, yes. In other cases, I have left people believing they are a toad when I wake them up." 

    Willa Sue says, "I hope we never cause you to want to turn us into toads."

    Merlin smiles, says, "If I do that, Angel Michael will turn me into a warthog in darkest Africa. Welcome home, so to speak. I've followed you two with great interest since your first appearance on Oprah. Before that, well, do you remember me, Riley?

    Riley stares at Merlin, then looks at his eyes, gasps, says, "Is that you, Judge Allgood?"

    Merlin smiles, bows.

    "But your legs were amputated above the knee when you were a teen and hopped off a freight train and fell on the tracks under the box car. And you were shorter and stockier. And, you were more bald. But you did have that crook nose, like an American Indian.

    Merlin laughs, says, "I need to work more on my disguises." 

    Willa Sue says, "Can I touch you, Merlin?"

    Merlin reaches out and puts his left hand on her left shoulder. She reaches across with her left hand and grasps his hand. 

    "Feels like a real hand to me."

    "It is a real hand. No big deal, really. In the New Testament, Jesus told his disciples that Elijah returned as John the Baptist."

    "Hope you have a better return trip than John the Baptist had."

    Merlin grins, his eyes twinkle, he says, "So do I, Sister. So do I."

    "Sister?"

    "It wasn't just Elijah and Merlin who got to come back, Maid Miriam."

    Willa Sue is gob-smacked.

    Riley looks all fucked up.

    Merlin laughs, nods at Riley, says, "Lucky you, Robin Hood. Lucky you." 

    As a freaky good trial lawyer, Riley had made a lot of rich people poorer.