Bullseyes and Red Dots

 Bullseyes and Red Dots

During Riley and Willa Sue’s escape to Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, the taxi driver receives a patch-through call on his radio from Oprah. The driver turns up the volume, wishing he has a tape recorder. Not to worry, the taxi company has its recorder on.

“Hey, Willa Sue and Riley, can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear, Sister,” Willa Sue says.

“I just heard what happened on the sidewalk, I’m so sorry!”

“Not to worry, Riley seemed in hog heaven. Imagine he wishes it was filmed, so it won’t get told different.’

“I wish I’d been there, darn.”

“I wish you’d been there, too.”

“Maybe we should schedule you two for another show.”

Riley says, “I dunno. I painted lots of bullseyes and red dots on Mary Lou’s and my front and hindquarters today. Lots of rifles with sniper scopes out there. And hand grenades, C-4 explosives, bows and arrows, blow guns - you get my drift, old friend. 

“Are you serious, Riley?”

“Dead serious, Oprah.”

“Oh.”

“You might want to watch your back. Lots of Americans are really wound tight, I met a few today on the sidewalk. 9/11 wound them a lot tighter.”

The taxi driver says, “You got that right, Mr. Strange.”

Riley’s been thinking about how he and Willa Sue might reinvent themselves.

Willa Sue’s been thinking the same.

Oprah’s been thinking the same.

Oprah says, “You two have any notion of what you’re going to do now? I should have asked you that during the show today.”

Riley replies, “I dunno, Oprah,” if we told you that, then we might have to kill you.”

“Huh?”

Willa Sue says, “He’s joking, Oprah. He picked that up before I met him, which was a good thing, because in prison there are things you don’t ask other inmates about themselves, unless you are ready to dearly depart.”

Riley says, “I’m thinking maybe I’ll start a blog. Maybe I’ll call it Stranger Than Fiction. Or maybe, Ask Riley.”

Willa Sue says, "Or Ask Riley and Willa Sue.”

Riley says, “Yeah, I like that better. Maybe call it Stranger than fiction: ask Willa Sue and Riley’.”

Willa Sue says, “Ladies first, I like that better.”

Oprah agrees, “Me too.”

Riley muses, “There was a children’s story about an expedition in a jungle, which my children liked me to read to them. There was a woman on the expedition, who kept insisting that she must go first at everything. She was a real pain in the ass. Then, they came up on a tiger and the rest of the expedition happily let her go first.”

 Oprah says, “I didn’t know you have children.”

“Before Mary Lou. A long time ago, in a universe far, far away.”

“Oh”

“Yeah, oh.”

“You ever see or hear from them?”

“No. “

“Do you miss them?”

“Not sure, it’s been so long.”

“Do you know where they are?”

“No.”

“Do you know where their mother is?”

“No. They moved to Atlanta after the divorce. Communication stopped.”

“You didn’t pay child support or alimony?”

“No, She made good money.”

Silence.

“She was an attorney.”

“For real?”

“Yeah."

"What was her name?

“I prefer not to say because I don’t want to get her and her children involved in Willa Sue’s and my life, for lots of reasons, including the bullseyes and red dots.”

 Riley thinks, That really was a long time ago, an entirely different life ended and a new life began. It was painful, but if it had not ended, then look at all that I would not have experienced. Jessie’s and my divorce agreement was so unusual, and our kids were so young, that the case was sealed by the court and it will be very difficult for anyone to trace her down. Her children are grown now, and I can’t imagine how they will be traced down, so hopefully for them they will remain hidden. It's between Willa Sue and me that Jessie simply did not like men and there was nothing she could do about it.