American Women's wildest wet dream come true- Riley for President!

American Women's wildest wet dream come true- 

Riley for President!

Over dinner, Willa Sue and Riley are batting around ideas for their first blog post, when Willa Sue receives an email from Oprah, containing a link to karma'sabitch.com's post about Riley on the sidewalk in Chicago.

American Women's wildest wet dream come true- Riley for President!

I dunno, ladies, but yesterday I just might have witnessed a real sho nuff fucking miracle on the sidewalks of Chicago. I saw a man actually behave like we women dream men ought to behave. I wish I'd had a cam recorder with me, but all I had was my trusty notebook and ball point pen, when I not 20 feet away watched recently pardoned Florida prison inmate Riley Strange use some kind of judo, jujitsu or aikido to ward off an attack from behind and take down to his knees with a cute ear pull an enraged Vietnam war combat veteran, who had lost good friends in Vietnam and took high offense over Riley's just earlier remarks on Oprah about rich white testosterone-driven, tiny penis mens' invented war in Vietnam, and in the Persian Gulf and Kuwait, which caused 9/11. 

I watched Riley called traitor by several people and told he should be back in prison and should leave America. I watched Riley adroitly pivot his accusers back on themselves, reminding them that America's democracy exists because of freedom of speech, which they seemed to have forgotten slap dab about. I watched Riley befriend the Vietnam combat vet, by sharing the death of Riley's older brother in Vietnam and its devastation on Riley's parents. And how men in the prison with Riley felt about the Vietnam war. And a man who came into the prison, whose father had been killed in Vietnam and his mother had killed herself, and his life had become a living hell, and all he wanted to do was die.

I swan, if Riley's beautiful wife Willa Sue was not standing there beside him, I just might have walked up to him and given him a big wet kiss and asked him, "My place or yours?" I mean, I was so hot and smitten that I felt maybe I might just melt down and explode right there on the sidewalk. 

For fuck's sake, what was that beautiful man doing in prison? Why wasn't he doing something important, instead? Like, hmmm, advising President Bush about his war policy? Like, hmmm, advising President Bush about school shootings? Like, hmmm, advising President Bush about resigning from office, because he was AWOL from the Alabama National Air Guard during the Vietnam war? That's right, President Bush betrayed his country, and he got rewarded by being elected president.

Just how fucked up is that, Ladies?

Just how small a dick do you think President Bush has?

Like we give a shit. We know he's a weenie through and through, and we'd never have heard of him if his daddy had not been the CIA director and President Reagan's vice-president, and then himself president, so he could plant the seeds for 9/11, three nights before which, Riley told Oprah, Archangel Michael asked Riley if he would make a prayer for a Divine Intervention for all of humanity?

Ya'll gals all know I'm a New Age chick, sometimes accused of being a high priestess, and other times, a witch and/or a bitch. But, I swan, there's something about Riley that just made my blood start to a boiling like Lady Kundalini  was running from my toes through my feet and legs, up through my private parts, into my guts, tummy, lungs and heart, and up through my throat into my mouth and into my head and through it. I felt like I was on fucking fire.

So, there you have it, Goddess Eves. Prince Charming exists. I met him on a Chicago sidewalk. I nodded to him and smiled, and he caught my eyes, and about then I started feeling REALLY DIFFERENT. So, here's what I think. I think Riley ought to toss his hat into the ring and run for president. I really do think that. I'm getting all wet you know where, thinking that. My fucking God, I'm having an orgasm!!!

Willa Sue says, “Shit, Riley, I guess I can’t take you anywhere in public no more.”

“Shit, Willa Sue, you may be right. Maybe you’ll have to keep me locked up for a year, till I cool off, or New Age chicks do.”

“We both know that ain’t happening, Riley. What do you think about being president?”

"That witch didn’t say nothing about me being president, only that I should run for president.”

“I think her orgasm said LOUD AND CLEAR what she meant, Riley.”

“Fuck me.”

“I like that idea, too. Take off your pants, Mr.”