Cutthroat Lane

Cutthroat Road

    Willa Sue says, "I want to find Sandy Downs."

    Riley nods yes, closes his laptop, and they walk to the Highlander.

    Willa Sue gets behind the wheel and off they head down US 1.

    They pass through Little Torch Key and cross the bridge onto Ramrod Key.

    They cross the bridge to Summerland Key.

    They cross the bridge Cudjoe Key.

    They pass a paved road on the right, and Riley gets a sharp crick in the left side of his neck.

    Willa Sue keeps driving down US 1. 

    The crick gets sharper, and Riley tells Willa Sue about it.

    She keeps driving down US 1, and the crick gets worse.

    Riley says, "Please stop and turn around, Wife, before I open the door and jump out head first and put me out of my misery."

    Willa Sue slows the Highlander, and after two oncoming cars pass going the other way, she does a u-turn and they head back up US 1. When they reach the paved side road, now on their left, Riley says, "The crick is almost gone." 

    As they continue up US 1, Riley says, "Shit, it's coming back. Turn around again, pretty please."

    Willa Sue slows, no oncoming traffic this time, she does a u-turn and heads back down US 1. As they reach the paved side road to the right, Riley says, "Slow down, the crick is easing."

    Willa Sue slows to about 15 miles per hour. They reach the side road, "Cutthroat Drive." 

    Riley says, "The crick's gone, turn here."

    Willa Sue turns right. She drives slowly on Cutthroat Drive, past Redfish Lane on the right. Past Bluegill Lane on the right. 

    Riley says, "The crick's coming back, turn around and go down Bluegill Lane."

    The crick eases. 

    About 200 yards down Bluegill Lane, they see a pale blue octagon house on stilts on the right. Willa Sue turns the Highlander into the driveway, parks, and turns off the ignition.

    They get out and walk to the stairs going up the left side of the house. The place smells like fish. Two teenage boys indeed are cleaning a fish. A BIG fish. At least 7 feet long. Shaped like a torpedo. On a boat ramp leading down into a canal in front of the house. A large skiff with a huge Mercury outboard and outriggers is moored at the bottom of the ramp.

    The boys look up, see Riley and Willa Sue, smile, in unison say, "Hi." 

    Riley and Willa Sue smile and say, "Hi. We're looking for Sandy Downs, do you know her?"

    The boys look at each other, back at Riley and Willa Sue.

    The older boy says, "Are you the law?"

    Riley says "Do we look like the law?"

    They are wearing bluejeans and polo shirts.

    The younger boy says, "You could be in disguise."

    Riley looks closer at the torpedo they have gutted and now are chopping off its head with lots of big sharp teeth in its mouth,

    "Wahoo?"

    "Yeah," the younger boy says. "If you know that, then I guess you ain't the law."

    "We could be F.B.I. agents in disguise," Willa Sue says."

    "In that case, we never heard of Sandy Downs," the older boy says, smiles.

    Riley says, "Well, if you ever chance to meet Sandy, please tell her Riley Strange and Willa Sue Jenkins dropped by after we saw her comment about us on the Coconut Telegraph, and about her living in an octagon stilt house on Cudjoe Key."

    The boys look at each other, then back at Willa Sue and Riley.

    The older boy yells really loud, "Hey Mom, there are some people out here to see you!!!"

    Riley and Willa Sue hear a door open upstairs and a tanned, shapely, bleach-blond woman shorter than Willa Sue steps out onto the upstairs deck, walks to the rail, looks down, says, "Oh my God! I was just reading your comments on the Coconut Telegraph. Please come up."

    Riley and Willa Sue climb the stairs. Sandy hugs them together, says, "Lets go inside to the living room."

    The internal layout is similar to the Pleaadean's octagon home, but this home clearly is on the public electric and water grid.

    Sandy says, "I'm so very glad you looked me up."

    Willa Sue explains how that happened.

    Sandy looks out the window, then looks up, and then looks at Willa Sue and says, "A voice told me in my sleep last night that I was going to have unexpected guests."

    Riley says, "We had no clue how to find you, yet here we are."

    "Yes, here we are," Sandy says.

    "And we are already decided to head home tomorrow," Willa Sue says.

    Sandy nods, says, "I figured as much from your comments al the Coconut Telegraph. You nailed it. Mosquito Control beat Mother Nature's first line of defense, and now we can't go into the water safely with a nick or a scratch. I never connected those dots. Fucking scary."

    "It's now wise to mess with Mother Nature," Willa Sue says.

    Sandy nods, says, "Are you going to run for president, Riley?"

    "I hope not, but it don't appear I'm in charge of much of anything any more. I don't mind people talking me up, writing my name on ballots, but actually running and having a campaign just doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To be honest, think it's really wrong for people to run themselves for public office. The people who should be in public office, should not want the job. They should have it thrust upon them, and they do it because they feel called to do it."

    "In a perfect world," Sandy says.

    "Well, that's my dream world," Riley digs in.

    Sandy says, "Stick to your guns. Otherwise, you might get hornswoggle into something you wish you didn't."

    "Something like a black hole?"

    "Yeah, and don't forget tar babies and quicksand swamps."

    Wondering what spaceship Sandy came out of, Willa Sue asks Sandy, "What do you do besides raise teenage boys who catch huge wahoo?"

    "I'm a consultant."

    "What kind of consultant?"

    "You have something you want help with, ask me and I consult."

    "You have any training for that?"

    "No, one day I woke up and I was hearing voices talking about all sorts of things, and it fucking freaked me out. I kept it to myself for a long time, but it kept happening, and I kept hearing things about other people, and some of them I knew, and some of them I didn't know. I sometimes told the people I knew what I was hearing, and their eyes got big and round, or their eyes got narrow and mean. I learned to be careful about what I said I was hearing. But word started spreading and now I have a steady business that keeps the bills paid."

    "People call you?"

    "That, and they email me."

    "They pay by check they mail you?"

    "That, and PayPal."

    "Or, they come here and we talk and they pay cash, which tends to be tax free, or sometimes they pay by check."

    "Nice line of work that just flopped on you from out of nowhere."

    "Yep. Praise God. And Jesus, And Mary. And Mary Magdalene."

    "You a church girl?"

    "I was, but after I got my new line of work, church people didn't seem to like me as much."

    "Ain't that the truff, Girl!" Willa Sue laughs.

    Riley says, "We might want you to consult us from time to time."

    Sandy says, "Not going to happen. You two already have your consultants. But if I hear anything that might concern or interest you, I'll let you know. Your email address, Riley, is at the bottom of your blog posts. Give me your phone number, if you wish."

    Riley tells Sandy his phone number and she picks up a ballpoint pen off the table in front of them and writes it on the front page of a Keynoter.

    Sandy asks, "When are you headed back home?"

    Willa Sue says, "Maybe today. We still have time to check out of The Old Wooden Bridge Fish Camp."

    Riley asks Sandy, "If I ask what you did for work before you became a consultant, will you say, 'If I tell you that, then I will have to kill you'?"

    Sandy smiles wanly.

    Willa Sue says, "Can't take him nowhere. Give me your email address, in case we need to get in touch with you, or someone we meet wants to contact you. Riley's been posting daily travel updates at strangerhanfiction.com, and you are next on his agenda.

    Sandy asks, "How many page views is your blog getting a day?"

    Riley says, "Yesterday, it was 2.8 million."

    Sandy says, "I hope they are all registered to vote."

    Willa Sue says, "We figure half of them live outside America."

    Sandy smiles, says, "Send the foreigners visas. And, why don't you two start a church, ask for donations. PayPal will be pleased to assist."

    Riley says, "Then we'd have to hire an accountant to deal with just that, and then the IRS and the FBI and maybe even the CIA, and loonies on the right and the left would stalk and harass us, and then we'd have to kill you for talking us into it."

    Sandy grins.